437 – C.. C.. C.. COLD!

It’s been extraordinarily cold this weekend. Monday morning, it’s –3F with a wind chill 0f –15F. It’s not supposed to get higher than 12 today!

Oh, and there’s more snow coming… Tuesday and into Wednesday. *frown*

I had the woodstove going in the house all day yesterday… it was nice and roasty-toasty! We didn’t do much this weekend or go out of the house much because of the awful cold unless we absolutely had to.

I spent quite a bit of the weekend watching the Barrett-Jackson auto auction from Arizona. There were some incredible cars going across the stage, including a 1963 Pontiac hearse that possibly carried President JFK’s body.
The auction was on from last Tuesday through Sunday, selling hundreds of collector cars, many of which I drooled over, including this 2011 Chevrolet Camaro SS Convertible Indy 500 Pace Car which the owner will drive in the parade laps of this years Indy 500! The color scheme is patterned after the 1969 Camaro Pace Car like this one.
There were everything from Camaros to Mustangs, Corvettes to Road Runners, Cords to Packards, Jeeps to Pickups.

Well, on to something funny:

A humorous description by a newcomer, one who is not as 'hardy' as most Canadians:

Subject: Our new home in Ontario, Canada.

August 12          Moved into our new home in Ontario, Canada.  It is so beautiful here.  The hills and river valleys are so picturesque.  I have a beautiful old oak tree in my front yard.  Can hardly wait to see the change in the seasons.  This is truly God’s Country.

October 14          Ontario is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the real special places on Earth.  The leaves are turning a multitude of different colours. 
I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are so bright. I want to walk through all of the beautiful hills and spot some white tail deer.  They are so graceful – certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on Earth.  This must be paradise.
November 11        Deer season opens this week.  I can’t imagine why anyone would want to shoot these elegant animals.  They are the very symbol of peace and tranquility here in Ontario.  I hope it snows soon.  I love it here!

December 2   It snowed last night.  I woke to the most wonderful sight:  Everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white.  The oak tree is magnificent.  It looks like a postcard.  We went out and swept the snow from the steps and driveway.  The air is so crisp, clean and refreshing.  We had a snowball fight.  I won, and the
snowplow came down the street.  He must have gotten too close to the driveway because we had to go out and shovel the end of the driveway again.  What a beautiful place.  Nature in harmony – I love it here!

December 12      More snow last night.  I love it!  The plow did his cute little trick again.  What a rascal.  A winter wonderland – I love it here!

December 19      More snow – couldn’t get out of the driveway to get to work in time.  I’m exhausted from all the shoveling.  And that snowplow!

December 21      More of that white shit coming down – I’ve got blisters on my hands and a kink in my back.  I think that the snowplow driver waits around the corner until I’m done shoveling the driveway.  Asshole.

December 25      White Christmas?  More freakin’ snow.  If I ever get my hands on the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow,  I swear I’ll castrate him.  And why don’t they use more salt on these roads to melt this crap?

December 28      It hasn’t stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been inside since then, except of course when the SOB “Snowplow Harry” comes by.  Can’t go anywhere. Cars are buried up to the windows.  Weather man says to expect another 10 inches.  Do you have any idea how many shovelfuls 10 inches is?

January 1          Happy New Year?  The way it’s coming down it won’t melt until the 4th of July!  The snowplow got stuck down the road and the shithead actually had the balls to come and ask to borrow a shovel!  I told him I’d broken 6 already this season.

January 4          Finally got out of the house.  We went to the store to get some food and a goddamn deer ran out in front of my car and I hit the bastard.  It did $3,000 in damage to the car.  Those beasts ought to be killed.  The hunters should have a longer season if you ask me.

January 27          Warmed up a little and rained today.  The rain turned the snow into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak tree in the front yard and it went through the roof.  I should have cut that old piece of shit into fireplace wood when I had the chance.

March 23          Took my car to the local garage.  Would you believe the whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that damn salt they dump on the road?  Car looks like a bashed up heap of rusted cow shit.

May 10          Sold the car, the house, and moved to Florida.  I can’t imagine why anyone in their freakin' mind would ever want to live in the God-forsaken province of Ontario.

Have a great Monday all…!