308 – Another Cold Friday

Well, we went from in the 50’s over last weekend, to around 11 degrees this morning with a wind-chill of about –4 because of the winds.

Yesterday, we were supposed to get some “snow squalls”, but they added up to 2-3 inches of snow! Let me tell you, the roads were slippery yesterday, but hey, this is after all, New England.

Well, the new patio doors are almost finished in my house.. I’ll have to post some pictures when they’re done, but I absolutely LOVE them!

So what does everyone think of the new iPad? Me, I think it’s brilliant. The downside is that many now free online newspapers will now start charging for content. All I have to say is, if you’re going to charge for content, don’t show me any ads.

BTW Mark, that picture wasn’t stitched together. It came from Google Maps Street View!

On to something funny, have a wonderful weekend all!

VATICAN HUMOR

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the  Vatican   when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job!
What if something should happen?' protests the driver,  wishing he'd never gone to  work that morning..

'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The  driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms.. (Remember, the Pope is German..)

'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

  'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the
cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

  'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!'
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief: ' A senator?' Cop: 'Bigger.' 
Chief: 'The Prime Minister?' 
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'

307 – Half a Hump Day

I’m working only a half day today, as I’m having the big new patio doors installed at our house. I’m hoping they can get all if not most of it done today as I’ve been pretty anxious to see how they look.

Other than that, I’ve been spending some of my evenings watching College Basketball (it’s my favorite sport) with my friend Ray. He came over last night to watch the UCONN Women play (and win) and he’ll come over tonight to watch the men.

Mark, I found a website you’ll absolutely LOVE (so will everyone else too).
It's a very unique time lapsed photography website, where you control the speed of time.

Other than that, things are coming together for my trip (85 days away). We booked a hotel directly across the street from the pier for the night before so we just have to get up, walk across the street and we’re at the ship! Here’s a picture of the street with hotel on the left, ship on the right (split view, bottom part is top view, top is street view)

(Click on the picture to ‘embiggen')

And with that, I’ll send you off on your day with a funny:

Bottle of Merlot

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive
woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant.

So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the
gentleman who is seated over there,' and indicated the sender with a nod of
his head.

She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man,
then decided to send a reply to him by a note.
The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her
and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in
your garage, a million dollars in the bank and '7' inches in your pants'.

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return.
He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it
to the lady.

It read:

'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be: I have a
Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several
garages; I have beautiful homes in  Aspen and  Miami , and a 10,000 acre
ranch in  Louisiana . There is over twenty million dollars in my bank
account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would
I cut off three inches.  Just send the wine back....

Tiger

Have  a wonderful Hump-Day!

306 – Free Airfare to San Diego

Well, I booked our airfare to San Diego, California today using the points from my Capital One credit card. Seems I had enough to pay for both tickets completely! Whoo Hoo! About $700 in airfare, free. Gotta love that!

We’re going to be going out a day early too as are our friends from Alabama, so now I have to find a hotel for that one night, and something cool to do in SD. All in all, the trip is going to be very inexpensive for us. I’m very excited about it.

Other than that, it’s been a normal weekend. We went out to dinner with our friends Ray and Debbie on Saturday night, and we had a great time.

Now, on to something funny:

That’s when the trouble began…

While attending a marriage counseling weekend, at a group session, Walter and his wife Anne listened to the instructor declare “It’s essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other” He then addressed the men: “Can you name her favorite flower?

Walter leaned over, and touched Anne’s hand gently, and announced loudly for all the husbands to hear “I sure do.. Gold Medal, All purpose, isn’t it honey!”

And thus, began Walter’s life of celibacy.

Air force one and the farmer
Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken, the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed, with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President's staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to surround the man's actor. "Sir," the senior Secret Service agent asked, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did." The man muttered unconcernedly. "Do you realize that is the President of the United States' airplane?" "Yep." "Were there any survivors?" the agent gasped. "Nope. They's all kilt straight out." The farmer sighed cutting of his tractor motor. "I done buried them all myself. Took most of the morning." "The President of the United States is DEAD?" The agent gulped in disbelief. "Yep, he kept a-saying he wasn't ... but you know what a liar he is!"

Have a wonderful Monday!

305 – Politics, or the lack thereof

Most people who know me, know of my loathing of politics. All of them do wrong, democrats, republicans.. every one of them. Nothing you can tell me will make me  believe otherwise. Observing from the fifty thousand foot level though, one side seems to provoke the other, or downright lie more than the other, and when they’re caught red handed, they never even say “whoops”.

The worst of it all, is a pompous blowhard named Rush Limbaugh. The man is, in my opinion, one of the most dangerous people in America, mainly because some people take what he says as the gospel truth. Everyone needs to realize, he’s an “entertainer”, but few do understand.
Enough about my views of politics.

I’ve been asked more than once this week, “Is it ethical to vacation in Haiti right now?”. Now, before you say “Vacation in Haiti????”, know that Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines (our favorite cruise line) has a private section known as Labadee, about 100 miles north of Port-au-Prince that I’ve visited before and is a gorgeous beach destination.
I’ll let you read for yourself, and see what you think.
Read the CNN article here.

Other than that, our patio doors that we ordered are in, and I’m trying to get in touch with our carpenter to schedule when they’re to be installed. Pictures to follow for sure!

One last thing before a funny, check out Bing.com today for a beautiful picture of the Mendenhall Glacier.

On to the funny:

The King's Daughter
Once upon a time there lived a king. The king had a beautiful daughter.  But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.  No matter what; metal, wood, plastic -- anything she touched would melt.  Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.  The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter? He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, "If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured."  The king was overjoyed. The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.  Three young princes took up the challenge.

The first prince brought a very hard alloy of titanium. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted.  The prince went away sadly. 

The second prince brought a huge diamond, thinking that diamond is the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched it, it melted. He too was sent away disappointed. 

The third prince approached. He told the princess, "Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there." The princess did as she was told, though she turned red. She held it in her hand. And it did not melt!!!  The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

Question: What was the object in the prince's pants?

They were M&M's of course. They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.  (What were you thinking?)

Have a great weekend all!

304 – Cruising again?

Yep, it looks like we may be  cruising once more, in April for our 30th anniversary. We found a great deal on a 10 night cruise out of San Diego, heading down to Mexico. Our good friends from Alabama are going to go too, so it’ll be a great time for sure.

It was a nice, long weekend just gone by.. relaxing, and warm for January. The temps got up into the low 40’s, and quite a bit of the snow is gone. I can see my grass again.

Only thing is, February tends to be our month with the most snow.

Well, not much to say tonight, so I’ll leave you a funny:

Why do we love children?

1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening
when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She
was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my
5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a
seat belt!'

2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child
are not necessarily those of his parents.'

3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During
her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to
answer the phone 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right
now. She's hitting the bottle.'

4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with
ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched
in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever
seen a little boy before?'

5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I
was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and
down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and
continued writing the report.. My mother said if I ever needed help I
should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told
her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward  me ,
'would you please tie my shoe?'

6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at  me . 'Is that a dog you
got back there?' he asked.
'It sure is,' I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at  me and then towards the back of the van.
Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of
old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I
found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass As I
braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she  merely
turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw
her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear
that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead
robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had
secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready
for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father
always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into
the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)

10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just
wasting my time ,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't
write, and they won't let me talk!'

11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he
fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the
Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an
old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think
it's Adam's underwear!'

Have a great Hump-Day!

303 – A Look at Spam

My friend Kent from Kentucky (no pun intended) seems to have fun with spammers from Nigeria, South Africa, or generally on that continent.

First lets look at my own personal spam this morning:

From: BirthControlInfo Subject: Did you suffer a Gallbladder injury while using Birth Control?‏

From: Alex Subject: precsription are not needed‏

From: Customer Support Subject: Satellite TV for Your PC

From: GoldsGym Subject: Gold's Gym complimentary 7 Day VIP Pass‏

From: AcaiBerryCleanse Subject: Dr.Perricone rated Acai #1 Superfood‏

From: Nurse Subject: NURSING/HEALTHCARE OPENINGS - Train To Work In 2010 - $47,710 - $69,850‏

You get the idea.

Well, here’s what my friend Kent does (this is an email he sent to me:

I received a request from Mr. Brown in one of my anonymous email accounts:

On Tue, Jan 12, 2010 at 11:47 AM, James Brown <company_works@yahoo.com> wrote:

I am Mr. James Brown  and i am contacting you to know if you do have try pods for sale?I will like you to email me back if you do with the types and prices of the try pods you have,Also do you accept credit cards as form of payment?
am looking forward for your mail.Thank you very much.
My Regards..
Mr. James Brown

I replied:
James,
Thank you for your interest. Yes, we have try pods for sale.
Try Pod Model          Gb RAM      Suggested Oil Change Frequency   price for qty 1      price per dozen
A016-1442                    1                        monthly                                $314.99              $3,499.00

A767-a                         3                       quarterly                                $399                   $4,299.00
DB-C00p3R                  4                         yearly                                  $599                   $6,499.00
We can ship immediately. The best form of payment is to our bank.
Thank you for your inquiry.

The funny thing is, this is the reply my friend Kent got back!

Thanks for the mail.I will want you to mail me with the cost for a dozen of the A016-1442  and this should exclude all shipping charges.Read from you soon.

And there’s more! Kent’s name at the email address that these people are sending to, is :Kno Kandoo!

As you can see, Kent has a great and unique sense of humor.

With that, I wish you all a wonderful weekend, and remember no post on Monday!

302 – A Day Late

Whoops, sorry for missing a post yesterday.  Before anything else, here’s the answer to Monday’s quiz: 5 words. Keno, Money, Monk, Omen and Yoke!
Hope you got them all!

Hey Caroldee.. I answered your question (though maybe not how you thought I would!) *LOL*

Oh, just a reminder, no blog on Monday as I’ll have the day off and blissfully sleep in! *S*

I’ve made a habit out of checking out the background picture every day at Bing. If you don’t, you should as the photos are absolutely breathtaking most days!

Well, not much to say this morning, so I’ll leave you with a funny:

A Son's Bad Dream

A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.

The next day, Auntie Susie dies.

One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died. The father assures the son that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed.

The next day, granddaddy dies.

One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed.

The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified. The next day, the man is scared for his life- he is sure he is going to die. After dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision. He doesn't eat lunch because he is scared of food poisoning. He avoids everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed. He jumps at every noise, starts at every movement and hides under his desk.

Upon walking in his front door, he finds his wife. "Good God Dear" he proclaims, "I've just had the worst day of my entire life!

She responds, "You think your day was bad, the milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning."

Have a wonderful Day!

301 – Ask me a question.. anything!

Have you seen the newest widget I have at left? You can ask me a question, and I’ll answer it and you’ll see it at the link just above the line. Right now, there’s only 2 questions there. One was a randomly generated one I asked for from the website (amazing it knew I’d have a hard time answering it). The other.. who knows who it came from! You’re welcome to add your name, or use your login to blogger or twitter to say who you are, or even put your name in at the end of the question!
Lets see how it works.

We’re still in the cold snap here. When I got up this morning, it was 5 degrees out with a wind chill below zero. Saturday it was real cold and I had our wood stove going all day.

My wife and I have put a cruise on hold for the 3rd week in April for our 30th anniversary. It’s a 10 night cruise out of San Diego.. but we’re not completely positive we’re going to do it yet.. we’re waiting to see if our friends from Alabama can come along. Should know by the end of this week. Keep your fingers crossed!

So, how many of the Brain Teasers did YOU get? Here’s the answers:

1. Links/Lynx
2. Lion
3. Wail/Whale

Did you get them?

Next brain teaser:

How many words can you make from the word “Monkey”?

And now, a funny for all of us on a diet for our New Years Resolution:

Justification for beer and Ice cream! But stay away from the pizza!

As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat.
For example, a dessert served and eaten at near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg. F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F).  For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above.  The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams.  Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert's temperature is normalized.
Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories.
Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat,the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal.
This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses.  Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalizing process.  Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12 oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer.
Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature. The results here are really remarkable, and it beats running hands down.
Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect.  But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream.
We could all be thin if we were to adhere religiously to a pizza, beer, and ice cream diet.
Happy eating!

Have a great Monday all…!

300 – Snowy Friday

Yep, it’s snowing again outside.. but luckily, we’re not supposed to get much more than an inch of the white fluffy stuff.
This weekend however, will be extremely cold and windy, never making up into the 30’s at all.

No big plans for the weekend other than some friends and I plan on going to see Sherlock Holmes at the movies. It’s supposed to be a good movie, and I do like Robert Downey Jr, and I love the Sherlock Holmes stuff.
I used to be a big fan of the old black and white Sherlock Holmes TV shows with Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce. Even now, when I see one of the old ones on, I can’t help but watch them. I found him amazing as an actor, and the content (Holmes) was fascinating!

Other than that, not much new.

Here’s something for you that I found on the back of my new daily calendar:

Brain Teaser: What animal am I?

(example, A dull person = boar (bore))

1. Parts of a chain = ?

2. tellin’ untruths = ?

3. a lamenting cry = ?

(answers on Monday)

Now for a joke:

A Lawyer's Question

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail for contempt within 5 minutes!"

 

Have a wonderful weekend all!

299 – Into the New Year

Resolutions. Ever made any?

I’m going to try to eat better, and get more exercise.
I’m going to try to relax more, and worry less.
I’m going to try to find ways to spend more time with my family.

Have you made any resolutions for 2010?

Ever wonder… 

Why is it, a brand new Christmas tree won’t fit back in the box you bought it in?

When a popular public figure dies, why does it take weeks for a toxicology report to come back when CSI does it in under 20 minutes? (same with DNA tests)

Why we spend billions a year on airline security, and we miss a guy with a bomb whose own father told us he was a bad guy?

Oh well… I guess there’s things I’ll never understand! *chuckling*

On to something funny:

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.
" Hi, is Tony home?"

" No, he went to the store."

"Well, you mind if I wait?"

" No, come in."

They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."

Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.

They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."

Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves.

A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over. "

Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

Have a wonderful Hump-Day!

298 – Happy New Years!

Well, a Happy 2010 people (pronounced twenty ten). Hopefully, it’ll be a better year than 2009 was.

Between bailouts, health care, and job losses, 2009 was an awful year for many people. Hopefully, people will be back to work soon, and somehow, healthcare will become affordable to all.

My New Years Eve was quiet this year, we just cooked up a special dinner, and watched some movies. I actually didn’t make it till the ball dropped in Times Square.

Yesterday was my mom’s birthday (her 78th) and we all got together at her place for some cake and presents.

Other than that, we all tried to stay in as the weather outside was downright nasty! Light snow, temps in the low teens, and winds up 30-40mph making wind chills well below zero!

And now… for a funny:

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.

The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet it's some flowers!"

"That's right!" shouted the little boy.

Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said, "I bet I know what it is! It's a box of candy!"

"That's right!" shouted the little girl.

The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy answered. The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.

"Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy answered.

"What is it?" she said.

"A puppy!"

Have a great Monday all…!