168 - Happy New Year !!!

To all my faithful readers (and even those who aren't faithful), I wish you all, a safe, happy and healthy 2009!

Lets hope 2009 is a  better year for everyone!

167 - Holiday Wrap-Up

How was your Christmas?

Well, mine was pretty much the same as all the others. Pretty good! We had Christmas Eve at my mom's house, with some munchies and pizza (to keep it easy on mom) and Christmas Day at our house with everyone. We had 2 hams (one with cloves, the other honey basted and both were 10 out of 10! Very moist, not too salty.. everything was great. I got my great Henckel knife set for Christmas, as well as a Corvette money clip, a nice UConn Hoodie, some shower gel/soap that I like.. and money and clothes.

The rest of the weekend was quiet, and restful. Oh, one thing.. the weather's been in the 50's here, so all the snow we got last week, is gone now! Go figure.

I went to the movies Friday night to see Valkyrie with my friend Dave who's a very big war movie fan (even though I'm  not), and even with Tom Cruise in it, I didn't like it very much. It seems it couldn't decide if it were a drama, a documentary or an actual movie with a plot. To say I was disappointed is putting it mildly.

And now, a funny for your Monday:

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her.

She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!" "You can't get out of your room?"; the captain asked. "Why not?"

She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

Have a nice day all...!

166 - Merry Christmas

 

And now, for my very favorite Christmas Story:

Kiss in a box

The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy."

He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty. He yelled at her, "Don't you know that when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be something inside it?" The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "Oh, Daddy, it is not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness. It is told that the man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there. In a very real sense, each of us as humans have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, friends, family. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

Merry Christmas to All My Friends here!!!

165 - Winter Wonderland

Well, Friday the snow piled up! Work let us out at 11:30am, and while it had started snowing, it wasn't too bad out at that point.

By 4pm, this is what my back yard looked like.

Not only that, it kept snowing into the night, then, while we had a chance to dig out on Saturday, Sunday we got another 4 inches of snow!

Saturday, my daughter and I went shopping to bring back a new jacket I bought for myself (needed a smaller size), I bought 3 casual button up shirts and a new pair of jeans. Then I took my daughter a few other places before heading home later on in the afternoon. (click on the picture to 'embiggen')

Sunday was my daughter's birthday. She's 27 now, and still getting over having her 4 wisdom teeth pulled out last Friday.

Current weather forecasts show very cold weather and then possibly rain on Christmas Eve.

Well, on to something funny:

TOP 8 IDIOTS OF 2008

Number 1 Idiot of 2008
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center.
Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little
daughter eating ants.
I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be
no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.
She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right
away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2008
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated.
They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2008
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.'
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note  and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.
She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.  Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and
left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America .
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2008
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.
He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Wise guy........ But you still get a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot of 2008
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.  After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf.  He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.'
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him.  At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.  They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2008
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!'  When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2008
Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
He lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor
store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Eight of 2008
I live in a semi-rural area. ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin )
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
STAY ALERT!
They walk among us...they REPRODUCE...and they    VOTE!!!

Have a nice Monday...

164 - Every Day This Week has been a Monday!

Every single day this week has felt like a Monday! What's going on with that!
My MIL has been to the hospital yesterday and today for chemo, but there's always been a reason not to do it.. though she sat there for 9 hours yesterday, and 5 today. Finally, at 5pm today, she go the chemo. I can't stand the hospital in my town. I wanted to take her to where I work (UCONN Health Center).

We're due to get 6-12" of snow on Friday!! We'll have a white Christmas after all.

Did I mention, while on the cruise, I won a pearl necklace for my wife!!! I'll have to take a picture of it and post it here for you all. I'll also try to take a picture of the wooden bowl we got in Honduras.

Ok, don't you LOVE stories like this? The CEO of United Technologies (makers of Pratt & Whitney Aircraft engines, Sikorsky Helicopters, Otis Elevators, Carrier (the air conditioning people), and Hamilton Sundstrand (maker of the US Space Suits since the Apollo missions)), is getting divorced. His trophy wife, is also a Swedish born Countess.

She announced today, that her weekly expenses run more than $53,000!!! You can see the itemized list here. I just can't believe it.

And now, on with a funny:

Noah's Ark
Everything I need to know I learned from Noah's Ark:
ONE: Don't miss the boat.
TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
SIX: Build your future on high ground.
SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.
TEN: Remember, the ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.

Have a great weekend...!

163 - Wordless Wednesday - Shadows & Light

 

(Click on picture to 'embiggen')

162 - The Internet, as I Remember It

I had asked last post, if anyone remembers their first Internet experience. Well, for mine, I had dial-up from a company named Esslink. I can still remember dialing up the first time, wondering where to go. Back then, there was no Google, or Yahoo, but the main search engines were 'search.com' and 'altavista.com' (both of which are still around, but so much lesser known than the big 2 now (Google and Yahoo). I used Altavista mostly, and nowadays, the draw to them is for the "Babel Fish Translation" section. Now, Altavista is currently owned by Yahoo, but keeps a separate page for the search engine, but if you go to the Babel Fish Translation area, it's on a yahoo page.

For those of you who do not know what a Babel Fish is, it comes from the 5 book trilogy called "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy", by Douglas Adams. The Babel Fish, has this description in the book:

"The Babel fish is small, yellow and leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix, formed by combining the conscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked up from the speech centers of the brain which has supplied them. The practical upshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear, you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language."

So, you can see where they got the name! *chuckling*

Other than the search engines, I can't remember too many places I went online. Of course, I was online pretty long ago, so I could have been anywhere! *S*

Now, for a funny from my friend Mike H, for michelle who loves puns:

A Holiday Groaner!!!

A Russian couple was walking down the street in St. Petersburg the other night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.
"I think it's raining," he said to his wife.

"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain, he said." Well, as these things go, they were about
to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing.
Just then they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them.  "Let's not fight about it," the man said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."

As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"

"It's raining, of course," he answered and walked on.

But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!"

To which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

Have a wonderful Monday!

161 - Do You Remember...

Where you were the very first time you went on the internet? I was thinking about it today.. and I honestly can't remember. It's also amazing, I barely remember dial-up, or my first ISP (Esslink). Just something silly to think about.

Thank you all for your kind words about my friend Joe.

Back to the cruise. As you can see, Mike and I are relaxing, listening to our IPod's in the quiet pool area in the back of the ship.

While I'll say the weather wasn't exactly bright sunshiny every day, it was a lot nicer than at home!

Oh, have I mentioned, only 65 more days till my next vacation in February!

 

The picture at left was taken at Cozumel, where our ship (at left) overshadows the smaller Carnival Ecstasy. Sometimes, they have 4 or even 5 cruise ships in port on one day, and that dumps over 10,000 people into town!

 

 

More next week, now on to a funny:

These four guys were all at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Daryl and came to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all blood shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?"

He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "You look awful!"

He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I sat up and watched him all night."

The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed.

"Good morning," he said.

They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?"

He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night."

Have a wonderful weekend all.....

160 - Not-So Wordless Wednesday

Well, I was going to post another picture from my vacation, and only a few words, but Tuesday night, I attended the wake of another good friend of mine that was taken before his time. His name was Joe, and he, I and his cousin Nick were great friends from around 15 through our mid 20's. Joe and I bought our first Corvettes near the same time, and also our first motorcycles around the same time. We hung our a lot, and I got to know his family well.

Joe's dad owned a sand & gravel company, and Joe had worked there from when he was very young. Nick also worked there and one summer, when I was out of work, Joe's dad told me, and I quote "Champ, Joey tells me you don't have a job. Get your ass to the pit tomorrow at 8am, I have a job for you". Joe's dad was a real nice guy, though he sounded very "gruff". I've seen Joe all summer, at just about every other one of our Saturday cruise nights, as Joe loved classic cars as I do. We always sat together and talked, mostly about the fun we had as kids, sometimes about the cool cars or his collection of motorcycles. He was always asking me to take one of his bikes for a ride. A Suzuki Hayabusa Turbo. The only motorcycle on earth to scare me, and he owned one. I never got nor will I get the chance.

A few years ago, Joe was diagnosed with diabetes, and I believed from what he told me that he  had it under control. As I understand it, for the past few weeks, Joe has had pain in his legs, and didn't want to go to the doctors. It was so bad, that by last Friday, he finally went to the hospital where they found he had a massive infection throughout his body, and it had entered his organs.

Joe was gone by Saturday morning. He was 50.

Back to the vacation. The picture above was taken looking out the door, across the street from Los Cinco Soles, in Cozumel Mexico. You can see just how beautiful the water is there.

In Cozumel, we shopped, tasted Tequila and had a great lunch at Las Palmeras, a restaurant right across the street from the water, just like the picture above.
That's all I feel like posting for today.

Have a wonderful Hump-Day....

159 - Back From Vacation!

And, we got some good news in an email while we were on the trip. Seems my MIL went and had her PET scan while we were away, and they found no more cancer in her at all! Because of this, she can get a lower dose of chemo when she gets it.

Now, to the vacation.. it was wonderfully restful. We didn't get to do things on two of the islands that we had planned on, (cave tubing in Belize and the resort at Roatan Honduras). The ship got in late to Belize, and we wouldn't have had time to cave tube, and the day started out around 70 degrees and overcast.

When we left for the cruise, my daughter wanted us to see if we could find her a nice ring with 3 oval tanzanite pieces in it. Believe it or not, we found it the first night, right on the ship! They do have great deals there, they were having a special on Tanzanite, and they had the exact ring she wanted. We bought it right there and my daughter loves it!

The picture to the right was taken on Sunday, as we were cruising towards Cozumel Mexico. It was a beautiful day at sea, and we made the most of it. We sat out on deck, swam, hit the hot-tub, and generally did things fun on-board.

Cozumel was great, we did some shopping as we always do.. and of course, we hit the Tequila bar, and found some great stuff!

More Wednesday, as I'm still unpacking, but now for a funny:

BELIEVE it or not , These are Nashville , TN's REAL 911 Calls!

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house  on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an  address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your  emergency?
Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham  and cheese  sandwich.
Dispatcher : Excuse me?
Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen  table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite  out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?
Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an  eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

My Personal Favorite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes  apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first  child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is..........
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
Darn...I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher:
What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

Have a great Monday!