561 – 7 Days till Vacation!

Well, the cruise actually leaves 9 days from today, but at 3:30pm 7 days from now, I’m officially on vacation!

I had a nice birthday last week, with my son and his girlfriend, daughter, son in law, and grandpuppy coming over to help celebrate. It was a gorgeous day and I hope to have many more.

The weeks are flying by, and summer is almost at an end already. Seems like I’ve barely had my Corvette out this year, but I’ll just have to make the best of what’s left of the nice weather.

Other than that, everything’s going quite well… so, on with something to make you smile:

The Irish Bic Lighter

Mick and Paddy were fishing on  the Irish shoreline when Mick pulled out a
cigar. Finding he had No matches, he asked Paddy for a light.

'Ya, sure, I tink I haff a lighter,' Paddy replied and then reaching into
his tackle
box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.

'My God, man!' exclaimed Mick, taking the huge Bic lighter in his hands.
'Where'd yew git dat monster?'

'Well,' replied Paddy, 'I got it from my Genie.'

'You haff a fecking Genie?' Mick asked.

'Ya, sure. It's right here in my tackle box,' says Paddy.

'Could I see him?'

Paddy opens his tackle box and sure enough, out pops the Genie.

Addressing the Genie, Mick says, 'Hey dere! I'm a good pal of your master.
Will you grant me one wish?'

'Yes, I will,' says the Genie.

So Mick asks the Genie for a million bucks. The Genie disappears back into
the tackle box leaving Mick sitting there waiting for his million bucks.

Shortly, the Irish sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million
ducks flying directly overhead.

Over the roar of the one million ducks Mick yells at Paddy, 'What the hell?
I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!'

Paddy answers, 'Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat da Genie is hard of hearing. Do
yew really tink I asked for a 10 inch Bic?'

Have a great weekend all!

560 – Another Year Older

Well, tomorrow is my birthday, and I’ll be a whopping 56 years old. For some odd reason, I thought I was 56 last year! Go figure.

I got a phone call from my son this week, that he was in a car accident this morning which flipped his car, but luckily he’s ok. I’m not sure what he’ll do if his car is un-repairable, as we are firm in not buying him another car. He’s on his own with that now. Sounds cruel, but we bought him 4 cars now, and he’s ruined every one so far.

Other than that, tomorrow we’ll have a family party at our house. It’ll be nice to see my daughter and son-in-law, and my Grand-Puppy!

15 more days till our next cruise…. and I just can’t wait.

On to something funny:

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl.'
 
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'
 
'And who was the girl you were with?'
!
'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.'

'Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you
May as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'

'I cannot say.'
 
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
 
'I'll never tell.'
 
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
 
! 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
 
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
 
'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped,
And I admire that.  But you've sinned and have to
Atone. You cannot be an altar boy now
For 4 months. Now you go and
Behave yourself.'
 
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and
Whispers, 'What'd you get?'
 
'Four months vacation and five good leads...'

And one more:

Old man sitting on his front porch down in Louisiana, watching the sun rise, sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. He
yells out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

Boy yells back "Roll of chicken wire."

Old man says "What you gonna do with that?"

Boy says "Catch some chickens."

Old man yells "You damn fool, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"
Boy just laughs and keeps walking.

That evening at sunset the boy comes walking by and to the old man's
surprise he is dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens
caught in it.

Same time next morning the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees
the boy walk by carrying something kind of round in his hand. Old man yells
out "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

Boy yells back "Roll of duck tape."

Old man says "What you gonna do with that?"

Boy says back "Catch me some ducks."

Old man yells back, "You damn fool, you can't catch ducks with duck tape!"
Boy just laughs and keeps walking.

That night around sunset the boy walks by coming home and to the old man's
amazement he is trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duck tape with
about 35 ducks caught in it.

Same time next morning the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what
looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end. Old man says "Hey
boy, whatcha got there?"

Boy says "It's a pussy willow."

Old man says "Hold on, I'll get my hat."

Have a great weekend all….!

559 – Something I Made…..

I made a video with Microsoft Movie Maker, that I posted on my SkyDrive.

The song, is the Father/Daughter dance song, please listen to the words as you watch….

Click on the link, give it a bit to buffer, and enjoy.

 

http://sdrv.ms/OfMIrg