488 – Wordless Wednesday – Pic from Bing – Athens Greece

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487 – Where Did the Weekend Go?

What a whirlwind weekend!

Friday night, out with my friend John to a dinner, Saturday, 2 parties including my friend Dave’s 50’th birthday party, Sunday, a picnic. I lost my weekend!

Well, the State of Connecticut Employees Unions rejected some concessions that the Governor had asked us to give, and now he’s threatening 7500 layoffs! No good can come from this, I’m sure. I’m hoping to be safe, with almost 10 years of service, but one never knows.

16 Days till our next vacation. Between then, I have 2 days off too! *S*

How far is the TSA going to go when they ask a 95 year old cancer patient to remove her diaper! Does common sense exist anymore?

On to something funny: (from my friend Mike H)

Subject:    Arizona Department of Safety

An Arizona Department of Safety Officer pulled Mike Murray over for a weapons check because of his NRA bumper sticker.

When the officer approached, the man handed him his driver's license, insurance card and concealed carry permit (CCP).

The officer took the documents, looked them over and said "Mr. Murray I see you have a CCP.
Do you have any weapons with you?"

The man replied "Yes.  I have a .357 handgun in a hip holster a .45 in the glove box and a
.22 derringer in my boot."

The officer looked at him and asked "Anything else?"

"Yes.  I have a Mossberg 500 12 gauge and an AR-15 in the trunk."

The officer asked if he was driving to or from a shooting range and the man said he was not.

The officer bent over, looked into his face and said "Mr. Murray you are carrying quite a few guns.  May I ask what you are afraid of?"

Mike locked eyes with the officer and calmly answered "Not a F***ing thing."

Have a great Monday all!

486 – End of a Busy Week

Well, the week is coming to an end, but I’m still busier than ever. I’m going out to dinner with a friend tonight who’s moving to Delaware soon, and tomorrow, I have 2 picnics to go to, one being my friend Dave’s 50th birthday party!

Sunday, I’m going to an all day picnic, so I hope I have a chance to relax at least a bit.

My Fathers Day, last Sunday was probably one of the best I’ve ever had. My brother and I went to see my mom in the morning, then the kids came over for a nice steak on the grill lunch. We all spent some quality time together, and all was well at home.

It’s also been raining just about all week, but that’s normal as our local PGA Tour Golf Event is this week, and it always rains during it! *LOL*

On to something funny:

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.When Grandpa found a
bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of
the pills.

The son said: "I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong
and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa.

"$10.00 a pill," Answered the son.

"I don't care:" said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we
leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."

Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow.

He called Grandpa and said: "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00."

"I know," said Grandpa "The hundred is from Grandma!"

 

Augusta 4/25/11

Orville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Augusta, Georgia, told police
he observed a male customer, later identified as Tyrone Jackson of Augusta,
on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket... When
confronted the man became irate, knocked down an employee, drew a knife and
ran for the door.

Outside on the sidewalk were two Marines collecting toys for the "Toys for
Tots" program. Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of
the Marines, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back; the injury did not appear to
be severe.  After Police and an ambulance arrived at the scene Cpl. Duggan
was transported for treatment.
The subject was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms,
a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs,
multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a broken
jaw...injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off of the curb after
stabbing the Marine.

Now that was a well written Police report.

Have a wonderful weekend!

485 – Busy, Busy, Busy

I don’t know when I’ve been more busy. Seems like every day, I have something going on.

On the other hand, I had probably the best Fathers day yet. It was a gorgeous day, 85 degrees and sunshine, the kids came over and we had steaks on the grill. We all had a wonderful time, and a got a few small but nice Fathers Day gifts.

After the kids left, my wife and I took the Vette out for a little ride to see my mom, as it was just so perfect out for a nice ride with the top off (the car silly!).

Got to head to work, so on to something funny:

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.When Grandpa found a
bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of
the pills.

The son said: "I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong
and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa.

"$10.00 a pill," Answered the son.

"I don't care:" said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we
leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."

Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow.

He called Grandpa and said: "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00."

"I know," said Grandpa "The hundred is from Grandma!"

Have a wonderful Monday all!

484 – Wordless Wednesday – Labadee, Haiti Beach Day

 

(Click on picture to ‘embiggen’)

483 – Let it Rain

Well, after about 2 weeks of great weather, we’re getting some rain. It began late Friday night, and I don’t see an end in sight all week. My grass will be over a foot high before we have a nice enough day to cut it!

My wife and I went out for a great dinner Friday night. We had a little something to celebrate, and it was a beautiful evening.

Other than that, not much new going on in my life. 30 more days till our trip to Mexico, and I can’t wait for that! I know my sister-in-law wants to do a “swim with the dolphins” kinda thing, which may be fun.

Did you know we have Mountain Lions in Connecticut? A few have been sighted recently, and one got hit by a car last week. See the story here in the Hartford Courant.

Well, on to something funny:

The Most Embarrassing Moments Ever!

Let’s face it – we’ve all had our share of embarrassing moments. Just be thankful that none of them were as humiliating (and hilarious!) as these:

"A mother was taking a shower when her2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so she ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that she had copies made and included one with each of their Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that she take a closer look. Puzzled, the mother stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to her son, she had captured her reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!"

"A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help. The woman replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." The sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and she turned beet red and walked away."

"A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, ‘PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for ‘THUMBTACKS.’ In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: ‘DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?’

An introvert went to bar and spots a pretty looking woman sitting on the stool. He mustered all his courage for long time, then timidly approached and asked her, "Ma’ am, would be OK if sit here and talk with you?" She was alert, suspecting this man, and responds by yelling, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Customers in the bar started staring at them. The embarrassed guy quickly returns to his table dejected and ashamed. The young woman waits a little and then goes to the guy to apologize. With a smile on her face she says, "I am sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I am a college student in psychiatry and I am putting together a thesis as to how people react to embarrassing moments." The cunning guy now yells loudly, "What do you mean by $500?"

 

Have a wonderful Monday all!

482 Wordless Wednesday – Surfing @ Sea

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481 – Warm Week Ahead!

The temps are on the rise this week, with it going up over 95 on Thursday so the forecast says! Good Vette weather! *S*

Is it too early to mention, 37 more days till my next vacation? *chuckling*

It was a beautiful weekend here, with temps in the 80’s on Saturday, and low 70’s on Sunday. We took the Vette to our club’s cruise night on Saturday where it was my turn to DJ, and we filled the parking lot and then some. It’s nice to see some of the younger people getting into cars, and older ones at that, bringing them back to their original glory. It’s a good hobby, and keeps them off the streets and the bad influences.

I’m hoping to go see the new X-Men movie this coming weekend, as it’s gotten incredible reviews and is raking in the money at the box office! Also coming out this weekend, is Super 8, another Sci-Fi movie.

So.. how was everyone else's weekend??

And now, for something funny:

The Homeless Woman:

A woman was walking down the street. Without warning, she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago" the homeless woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.
"No, I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done In 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight."
The homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine."

The Married Cajun:

A married Cajun went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almos' had de affair wid annuder woman."
The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?"
The Cajun said, "Well, we get undress' and rub together, but den I stop."
The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."
The Cajun left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"
The Cajun replied, "Yeah fadder, but me..I rub de $50 on de box, and 'cordin' to you, that be de same as puttin' it in."

Have a great day all!

480 – A Beautiful Week

Well, Mother Nature’s been working overtime with the weather, and other than the storms a few nights ago that produced tornadoes about 50 miles North of us, it’s been a gorgeous week!

Tonight, we’re going out to dinner with some friends who we haven’t seen in a while at my favorite restaurant. Should be a fun time.

I’ve a busy weekend ahead, with more work around the house, hopefully getting the Vette out and visiting Mom.

Other than that, things are going well, and I’m feeling good. It’s odd, as I get older, every once in a while, I’ll have a pain somewhere, but sure enough, if I wait a week or two, it’ll eventually go away. I guess this is what it means to get old! *LOL*

On to some other funnies:

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. This being a big event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and "do it" for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never done it before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about protection and doing it. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many he'd like to buy; a 3-pack, a 10-pack, or a family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be very busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to her boyfriend, "I had no idea you were so religious." The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

Have a great weekend all!

479 – Short Week

Thank goodness it’s a short week! Hump Day already on the way to Friday.

Had a nice Holiday weekend, took the Vette out 3 of the 4 days and had a lot of fun.

My wife loves her new car, and I’m glad that she’s happy. She’s really happy about the Bluetooth built in so she can press a button and say “Call Home” and it dials home and she can talk hands-free with the sound coming through the radio speakers!

Other than that, not too much else going on, just busy as heck all day long it seems!

Well, on to something funny.. more on Friday!

I went to a couple of car dealerships last week, and the first one I stopped at was Kia, well nothing caught my eye, but the price was right, then I went to a Ford dealer, again nothing really caught my eye, but I looked anyway, then I go to the Chevy dealer, well I see one that I like, the dealer does the once over with me, then he pops the trunk, disappointed, I looked at the dealer and said, "Well, Theres something missing" the dealer ,puzzled asks "What"? I said "at the ford dealership I checked out, they had a new pair of shoes in the trunk of every car"! Smiling the dealer says "Thats so they can walk home"!

Have a great Hump-Day!