317 – 58 Days till Vacation

Watching some message boards at CruiseCritic.com, I saw someone say that the hotel we’re staying at in San Diego the day before our cruise had come down on their prices, I checked and sure enough, they came down about $20 to $158/night, so I called them and got the lower price. (Hey, $20 is a couple of drinks!)
Then, I looked closer at their website and saw they have a much better discount ($135) for State employees, so I called back, and the lady said “are you seeing the $110 rate”, and what do you think I said? “Sure, that’s what I see…” and now I get the room for $110, a full $68 cheaper than an hour earlier!
I immediately called my friend from Alabama who’s coming with us, and told him as he has a Government ID and can get the same deal!

What did everyone think of Tiger Woods’ apology on Friday? What on EARTH did “people are accusing me of taking performance enhancing drugs” have to do with everything else??? It seemed way too scripted for me, and not at all from the heart. I personally believe he did this only to keep his wife as he saw all those thousand dollar bills flying out the window if she left him.

And now some funnies. The first one’s for you Bubba:

A Misjudged Bubba

Bubba's sister, who is pregnant, is in a bad car accident, which causes her to fall into a deep coma. After nearly six months, she awakens and is no longer pregnant.

Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins, a boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother named them."

"Oh, no! Not Bubba. He's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," the doctor answers.

"Wow! That's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. What's the boy's name?"

The doctor replies: "Denephew."

(and from my friend Mike H, in honor of the Olympics)

Now that Vancouver is hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some
questions people from all over the world are asking.

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an
International Tourism Website.

Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto, can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ?  Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe    Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary  Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions..

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it...  Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ?  ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather..

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Have a wonderful Monday all!