454 – Lots Going On
Well, it’s one of my favorite times of year. March Madness!!!
As you all know, I’m a VERY big UCONN Basketball Fan (Men’s and Women’s teams)
This year, the women are #1 ranked in the country (yet again), and the men, played 5 games in 5 days, beat 4 ranked teams to win the Big East Tournament and earn themselves a #3 seed in the NCAA Tournament.
It looks like we’ll be booking 2 vacations in the next week.
Because of something that happened on our last cruise, Royal Caribbean has decided to basically give me a free cruise, balcony cabin and all so we’re looking at booking a Baltic Cruise for May.
More on that later.
We’re also booking a 5 day vacation in Mexico at the same resort my brother and I went to last year with our wives.
More later this week, on to something funny (from my friend Mike H):
NORWEGIAN VIRGINS
Olaf Swenson, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, takes a lightning-quick kick from a cow...right in his crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.
As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said 'How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and my fiance, Lena , is still a virgin in every vay.'
The doctor told him, 'Olaf, I'll have to put your willy in a splint to let it heal, and keep it straight. It should be okay next week, but leave it in there as long as you can. He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together...quite an impressive work of art.
Olaf mentions none of this to Lena, marries her, and they go on their honeymoon to Duluth .
That night in the Motel 6, Lena rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful, untouched breasts.
She said, 'Olaf...you' re the first vun! No vun has EVER seen deez.'
Olaf immediately drops his pants and replies, 'Look at dis Lena ....still in DA CRATE!
Language Barrier
An Italian woman married an American gentleman and they lived happily ever after in
Pittsburgh . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to
communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for
groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how
to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up
her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message and gave her the chicken
legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, so
she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her
breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts.
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to
communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...
(Please scroll down.)
What were you thinking?
Her husband speaks English!
I worry about you sometimes.
Have a great Monday!
posted by Dave
5 Comments:
Worse Tourney selection ever. Pitt get's put out in first round of Big East tourney and get put into the easiest regional. Duke blows UNC away and is sent West in the hardest regional. Like Len Bias said, "Does the selection committee know that a basketball is round?"
Dave, I always look forward to your vacations because I know you will serve up some great scenes along with fun commentary. Like I would if I could actually freakin' go anywhere!
Curt, but those of us who want Duke to lose no matter what are kind of enjoying that. Plus didn't they get blown away by that same NC team just a little earlier in the season? ;)
Curt, normally, UCONN gets in the worst bracket and Duke is in the creampuff bracket. It's about TIME they suffer! Anybody BUT DUKE!
Mark, plans are changing as we speak.. we may not do the Baltic cruise after all, but a different one. Stay tuned!
Hi Dave ~~ Another cruise coming on!!
Be careful where you choose to go as there sre such a lot of troubles all around the world. I enjoyed your jokes and hadn't seen the first one before. Not the best for honeymooners
I am so glad you enjoyed the Bear story - it was a good one. Thanks for your kind comments about me feeling well again. Take care, my friend, Regards, Merle.
Thanks for writting this
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