299 – Into the New Year
Resolutions. Ever made any?
I’m going to try to eat better, and get more exercise.
I’m going to try to relax more, and worry less.
I’m going to try to find ways to spend more time with my family.
Have you made any resolutions for 2010?
Ever wonder…
Why is it, a brand new Christmas tree won’t fit back in the box you bought it in?
When a popular public figure dies, why does it take weeks for a toxicology report to come back when CSI does it in under 20 minutes? (same with DNA tests)
Why we spend billions a year on airline security, and we miss a guy with a bomb whose own father told us he was a bad guy?
Oh well… I guess there’s things I’ll never understand! *chuckling*
On to something funny:
A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.
" Hi, is Tony home?"
" No, he went to the store."
"Well, you mind if I wait?"
" No, come in."
They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."
Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.
They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."
Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves.
A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over. "
Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"
Have a wonderful Hump-Day!
posted by Dave
4 Comments:
I don't make New Year's resolutions.
One of yours interests me because, as a person who always brings my lunch from home and eats it in one of the common areas at work, I see new faces when I eat lunch at the start of each year. It doesn't take long before we're back down to the usual crowd, and I can once again turn off that infernal Fox News that our company says is the only channel we can watch on the TV's.
REALLY? They force you to watch Fox News???
Wow, that's cruel and unusual punishment!!!
That airline security one is certainly a puzzle Dave!!
Hi Dave ~~ I don't know why you thought I was Peter. It was all my own effort. Good joke and there are several variations of returning money
and getting an eyeful. Did you get the joke when the Aussie inquired about Osama's wall, and found it imnpenetrable. He said fill her up with water, get rid of bin Laden and
the countries we have trouble with. Get our troops out first I trust.
Take care, my friend, Regards,Merle.
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