512 – Fall’s Frigid Fingers

Fall has come early to Connecticut I’m afraid to say. We’ve had nights with temperatures in the high 30’s and low 40’s, making for wonderful sleeping weather, but cooler than normal days.

We took the Corvette to our auto club’s cruise night on Saturday, and by the time we left, it was so cool we had to put the roof  on. Many people left a bit early due to the cool weather.

Sunday night, I went out to dinner with my friend John B, and we had an outstanding meal at a Thai restaurant. I had something called “Chicken Got Angry”, and it was incredible. A good time was had by us both.

A riddle before my jokes: What gets whiter, the dirtier it gets?

More later this week… on to something funny:

A married man goes to confessional and says to the priest, "Father, I had an affair with a woman... almost." "What do you mean almost?" question the priest. "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped." "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in," explains the priest. "You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."
The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, and then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then decides to leave. The priest quickly runs over to the man and exclaims, "I saw that... you didn't put any money in the poor box!" "Well Father, I rubbed up against it and, like you said, it's the same as putting it in!"

And another:

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked," Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"
"My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, a contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of bath." "Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

Have a wonderful day…!