339 – In the Home Stretch

Yep, a bit over 56 hours and I’m blissfully on vacation. You sick of hearing about it yet?

I started my packing in earnest this past weekend, and I couldn’t find my little Timex Indiglo travel alarm clock. It probably cost no more than $10 when it was new, but I really like it and the older I get, the more set in the ways I get about things.

It was driving me nuts, that I couldn’t find my little travel alarm. I searched all my bags, my wife searched all her bags…. nothing.

Sunday, my daughter and I went to 4 different stores to find something to use as I was pretty upset over it. It really is stupid to be upset over something so trivial, but like I said, as I get older, I get more set in my ways.

I ended up buying a cheap piece of crud at a Target store (kinda like Wal-Mart for you that don’t have them), brought it home and proceeded to hate it. I searched my room over and over again, to no avail. I went up to our room, and grabbed my wife’s carry-on bag from our last cruise (which she checked) and lo and behold, there it was in the bottom! (she swears she checked in there)

Life is once again good, the planets are again in alignment.. and packing can move on. *S*

On to something funny (as if the above wasn’t funny enough!)

The Confessional Booth

After a heavy night of drinking at the local bar, a drunk stumbles into a Catholic church and slowly makes his way into the confessional booth. There, the priest patiently awaits the man to begin his confession.

After a few minutes of silence, the priest politely taps on the window... nothing. The priest taps again and this time clears his throat a bit... still nothing. At this point the priest begins to lose his patience and bangs on the window.

Finally the dunk yells out... "Ain't no use knocking, there ain't no paper over here either!"

Pirate In A Bar

A young sailor was sitting in a bar having a few drinks when he looks over and sees a pirate. The pirate has a wooden peg-leg, a hook for a hand, and patch over his eye. Unable to resist, the sailor asks "How'd you end up with a peg-leg?"

"I was swept overboard during a fierce storm," says the pirate. "and a bloody shark bit off me whole darn leg!"

"Holy cow!" said the sailor. "What about the hook, how'd you get that?"

"Me crew and I were boarding an enemy ship, a fierce sword battle ensued. One of them cut me darn arm!"

"Absolutely incredible!" gasped the sailor. "And the eye patch, tell me how you got that?"

"A bloody seagull dropping fell into me eye," replied the pirate.

"Umm, you lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" asked the sailor, admonished.

Embarassed, the pirate answered "It was me first day with the hook."

Have a wonderful Monday all!